When fathers leave, it affects the children

Date:23 April 2018 - By: Mbulaheni Ridovhona

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An author born in Thohoyandou, Makhadzi Lukhaimane, recently released a fascinating book, When fathers leave, which she expects will captivate readers.

She said that the book explores her relationship with her father from childhood until adulthood. “It revisits the seldom occasions we spent together, what transpired at every meeting and how it made me feel. It explores the events that led to the demise of our relationship and how his lack of interest in my welfare made me feel and how it affected my outlook on life,” she added. The book describes a very independent girl unable to commit to relationships with men, “because I didn’t trust them,” she said.

The idea to pen her thoughts in a book was born in December of 2016 after the death of her grandmother. “My father was not there to at least comfort me. It was the first time I realised just how my father and I were removed from one another. It broke my heart, because I felt as though any tragedy could fall upon me and he wouldn’t care,” she explained.

She emphasised that the aim of the book is to encourage a constructive dialogue regarding the lack of an active father in a child’s life. “Children growing up without their fathers have become so common and normalised that we forget that is not how children should be raised. Fatherless children are made to feel as though growing up without their dad is normal and therefore it is not something to talk or even be disappointed about, however, people don’t acknowledge the feelings of rejection and abandonment a fatherless child has,” she added.

“I hope that when single mothers read the book they will talk to their children about how their father’s absence makes them feel – instead of assuming that because their child doesn’t say anything, it means that they are okay with it. I also hope that absent fathers will realise the impact that their absence has on a child and the important role they have in raising their children. Although we cannot control whether someone chooses to love us or not, we need to ensure that an absent person does not determine who or what we become, because the experiences we go through as children mould the kind of adults we become.”

Those interested in the book can send an e-mail to orders@whenfathersleave.co.za or contact Makhadzi Lukhaimane on Facebook or laydeepinx on Instagram. “I have various distributors in Johannesburg, Pretoria, Bloemfontein, Durban, Cape Town, Polokwane and Thohoyandou,” she said.

 

Makhadzi Lukhaimane. Photo supplied 

 

By: Mbulaheni Ridovhona

The 22-year-old Mbulaheni (Gary) Ridovhona has been passionate about journalism to the extent that he would buy himself a copy of weekly Univen students' newsletter, Our Voice. After reading, he would write stories about his rural village, Mamvuka, and submit them to the very newsletter for publication. His deep-rooted love for words and writing saw him register for a Bachelor of Arts in Media Studies at the University of Venda, and joined the Limpopo Mirror team in February 2016 as a journalism intern.

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