The following story is fictitious but realistic, reflecting a situation many people may face. It is written in the first person, but the names and places do not refer to real individuals.
What happened before:
Vho Joyce Rambani called an urgent family meeting at her home after discovering that her son, Dembe, had abandoned his university studies in Pretoria and was instead living in a squatter camp in Johannesburg. She was convinced his behaviour was the result of witchcraft, while Dembe’s father, Mr Rambani, argued that the problem was drug abuse. The meeting brought together close relatives, including a teacher brother and a pastor, but quickly descended into disagreement as accusations flew and tensions rose over the cause of Dembe’s decline.
Mr Rambani began with news none of us expected. “Gentlemen, I no longer live in this house. I only came this morning for the meeting. I have separated from my wife, your cousin Joyce. I now rent a place of my own. You heard a taste of what I endure here - constant accusations, endless denial. I reached a point where I had to choose peace over chaos.”
He paused, his voice heavy with resignation. “There is no way I can live with a woman who insists my family members are witches. Joyce will never admit that Dembe is responsible for his own downfall. To her, he is a victim of witchcraft. Did you see that pastor who left earlier? He is the one who prophesied to my wife, claiming my mother and siblings bewitched Dembe because he was the first Rambani boy to go to university. Anything that paints my relatives as evil, Joyce accepts as gospel truth. I feared that one day I would lose my temper and do something I would regret forever. That is why I left.”
He leaned forward, lowering his voice. “Two months ago, Dembe forgot his phone at home. Out of curiosity, I checked his WhatsApp messages. What I found shocked me to the core. Not only is he using drugs, he is part of a syndicate selling drugs to students. Worse still, he owes drug lords nearly R30,000. In those messages, he planned to steal my bakkie with his friends to sell it and settle his debt. When I told Joyce, she refused to listen. Instead, she accused me of interfering in Dembe’s private life and inventing stories to protect my mother and siblings.”
He sighed deeply. “My sisters wanted to open a case of defamation against her, but my mother refused. She believes every deliberate evil deed will be judged by God. She was not shaken by Joyce’s accusations, but I could not live with them. That is why I chose separation.”
Then his voice hardened. “There was a night when Dembe forced his way into our daughter Lizzy’s bedroom. We heard her screaming. I rushed in, thinking an intruder had broken in. I was armed. Anything could have happened. We found Dembe half-naked, trying to subdue Lizzy. He claimed he was looking for a charger, but his charger was in his room. And why was he fondling her if he only wanted a charger? The next day, Joyce accused me of trying to drive a wedge between my children. She said I was portraying Dembe as a rapist, when in her mind all of this was the work of witches.”
Read our next column to know what happened next.
VKRA Remarks
Parents should learn to identify problems early. Denial only deepens the damage.
Do not shift blame onto innocent people - false accusations destroy trust and fracture families.
* When parents refuse to face reality, children spiral further into danger.
* False accusations can strain relationships, isolate families and, in some cases, lead to divorce.
* Protect your children by confronting issues directly, not by hiding behind superstition or denial.